THE PANEL: The Transfer Saga Pt 2..

Hello everyone. Welcome to another series of often surprisingly coherent rumblings about soccer. For this edition, we invited a couple of friends(some of whom are soccer experts..) and posed a series of questions to them about the goings on of this summer's transfer window. Here we go;

1. Neymar and Messi; workable or implosion waiting to happen?

Can they co-exist?

BOB: 
Messi has  effectively just appointed Barça's new coach. Well, the coach himself believes so. Messi has rendered every Barça striker, during his reign surplus to requirements. It won't be an implosion. It will be what some of you like to call a "weak guy". 
Prediction: Neymar to bag 12 league goals (if Messi lets him) and finish the season polishing King Messi's boots and washing the boy wonder's draws.

RODNEY:

Its workable; Neymar is a wide player so he would not occupy Messi's space. It will be a success. The only problem is Barca's game which will restrict Neymar to two touches so we won't see his best.

Editor:

I think we all have to agree that this will depend on how Neymar adjusts to being the Spliffstar to Messi's Busta Ryhmes. Neymar also needs to cut out the play acting and petulance or he'll soon follow the Ibra route. From a purist perspective, it's a match made in heaven but pragmatically, it could go either way.

BARNS:

Neymar and Messi..I get excited thinking of it. It will definitely work, I believe they will compliment each other very well, with some brilliant interchanges. My worry is the midfield, will it keep performing at the highest level or have other teams discovered their secret? But with decent supply, I think we are going to see some very exciting stuff from those two.

PAUL:

Neymar and Messi will do well. In as much as they both love the lead role, I find they share the added quality of the maturity to understand the essence of team play. The fact that they also bring slightly different styles -Messi is a false 9 while Neymar is good peeling off fullbacks- means they complete each other so well. It looks set to be a partnership on the level of Queen and David Bowie, or Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton if you like. I can put my hand on that one.

2. What now for Arsenal? Can they maintain there Top 4 status; considering Spurs and Liverpool's progress and Wenger's unwillingness to sign players eg. Higuan?

When will this happen again?

PAUL:

Surprisingly(Ed: not surprising at all), I think Arsenal will hold onto the 4th spot, regardless. I have noted with great discomfort though that it used to be the Big 3 but for sentimental reasons or otherwise, it was extended to 4 to appease the fallen angel. The gap has grown between Arsenal and the top 3 but the Spurs and Liverpool themselves look reluctant to pinch away. They have bigger demons to sort out. If Bale and Suarez won't lift you above Giroud's team, I don't know who will.

BOB:

Wenger smells blood. Admittedly his pursuits this transfer window aren't coming through.. yet.. , but the caliber of stars he is chasing shows that he's willing to switch things up. I also believe he'll retire at the end of this season, that's why he's going for broke. I feel Arsenal will have a successful season. And no, I don't mean they'll get to put something their cob-webbed antique trophy cabinet.. I mean they'll finally finish above Man United. Yes, that was me predicting United to finish fourth.

RODNEY:

Arsenal will not win the league but will finish top 4 with or without Suarez. Wenger is world class.

BARNS:

Spurs and Liverpool may make progress but honestly I think they will always be inconsistent. They don't really have the depth and maturity to really perform week in week out. And Arsenal with their mediocrity can still manage to just stay slightly above them. Unless they really lose more players.

Editor:

My views on Arsenal are well documented here and I don't think anything has changed. It should be a scrap with Spurs for 4th place. Suarez could be a game changer if they managed to scrape enough coins together to buy him.

3. United have won titles with very mediocre teams of recent. Can Moyes keep it up or is the game finally up? Could Fergie have foreseen this situation being difficult to maintain and fast-tracked  his retirement?

RODNEY:

John, if I asked you  to pick any bunny(Ed: lady) in the world, would u pick Michelle from Destiny's child? That's what Man Utd did by appointing Moyes. They could have had any coach in the world but they picked him. Moyes has always struggled against Liverpool, with all the shit teams and managers LFC have had he always got chowed(Ed: sexed, blasted etc). He's never won a game at OT so Man U might have to win all their away games to win the title. He is a certified boozer.

BOB:

Two words: NO. NO!!!

Manchester United will falter in the league. Their lack of real quality outside Robin van PurseStrings will finally be exposed. Moyes will bottle Europe. He's a Glaswegian who has spent the last several years of his life in the backwater that is Merseyside, his accent is the love-child of two of the worst two accents on the Island of Britain. Elite Europe is no stage for such. 

I don't believe Fergie fast-tracked his retirement. Only he knew when the time would come, and kept his cards to his chest, offering no hints as to when he'd hang up his bubble gum. Legend.

The face is just as scary but he's no Fergie

BARNS:

United will take a bit of time to adjust in my opinion, may be 2 or 3 seasons. Moyes is no Fergie and with the mediocrity of players it will be some time before he can get something serious of the squad. They may compete for second/third place if they manage to maintain some consistency. If he can get someone to really lead the team, like Kagawa, who is more than capable, to have the attacks rotate around him, Utd may have a chance.

Editor:
United won the title with one world class player RVP, a so-so Rooney and a bunch of average players. Sir Alex was worth half a squad of world class players by himself!! Moyes will take time to firstly, establish himself in the OT(especially with Fergie upstairs); and secondly to get the team dominant again. With the departure of Fergie, United lose a large chunk of their clout with referees, the FA, the press.. Tough times ahead.

PAUL:

United is a tough call. On the one hand, they have succeeded in part because Fergie intimidates officials, his own players and opposition teams alike; while on the other, Moyes has done superbly well on a shoe-string budget. Something tells me to trust Fergie's choice of Moyes on this one. He may not intimidate, but Moyes will at least take the FA Cup. Given that he has also inherited a team of believers, it looks good for United. 

4. Does Bayern go up or down with Pep? Can they be the first team to retain their CL crown? 

Editor:
Personally, I consider Pep SLIGHTLY(I repeat slightly) overrated. He coached a Barca with Xavi, Iniesta, Messi et al, at the height of their powers. He abandoned them when they were clearly exhausted and on the wane. He has now chosen(yet again) to coach the club with the best squad in Europe. Unfortunately for him, anything less than a domestic double will be judged a disaster.

Bayern have the best squad in Europe by a country mile. Bayern's Team B could reach the CL semis but it's a notoriously difficult competition to win and even harder to defend. History doesn't lie. They will be the strongest contenders but fall short 

BARNS:

Bayern stays  up either way. Their system and depth don't just get erased however shit the coach who comes in may be. And I doubt Pep will be shit, I actually shudder at the thought that he may bring more

fluidity into the team than they already have. I think they will own the big stage for a couple more years

BOB:

For me, Bayern Munich demonstrated perfection last season. Pep is an artist dabbling in the science that is Bayern.. expect alchemy, not the real thing. It will be awkward but will reap domestically. Sure they'll do the domestic double with ease, but Europe is a different cup of tea. Pep knows this. They'll make the final as expected, and they'll be cockier than ever, and that will be the chink in their armour. Cockiness. I expect new champions of Europe come May 2014.

RODNEY:

They can only go down but that would have happened with Jupp Heyneckes as well. You can't beat a treble. But Pep will give them a philosophy, I won't be surprised if he gets his 3rd CL to equal the great Paisley's record but not this year.

PAUL:

Bayern have hit the top. There's no where else to go but down for any team that can put 7 goals without a reply past Barca. Best case scenario, hold it up there for another season but not better it. Reason: they do not have a supply line as rich in talent as Barca's. The monster will need feeding and money doesn't quite cover that as Florentino Perez learned when he disbanded Del Bosque's Madrid side, in favour of the galactico policy.

5.Can Edinson Cavani play with prima donna, Ibrahimovic. How do you rate PSG's Champions league chances?

BOB:

NO!!  Blanc's brief is to play both and he can't bench either one, or else...!  This is Qatar's sovereign fund money being spent here so these sheiks will be ruthless. For PSG to progress in Europe, they may have to build their attack around either one, but not both these superstars. Sure Ibrahimović will score loads, El Matador Cavani has to play second fiddle to keep the peace. I see him bagging a meagre (by his standards) 15 goals and be deemed a flop.This super combo of strikers will bark but won't bite.

RODNEY:

Cavani can play with Ibra based on his performances with Uruguay. He's selfless, can play on the wing if he has to. He's not just a centre forward. As for PSG, its not long ago Blanc was the highest rated coach in Europe, everyone was after him. There's amnesia in football. He won the league with Bordeaux, AND CHAMAKH for *expletive* sake. But they lack something. So no CL.

BARNS:

 I think Cavani can be humble. Zlatan, once given the props he deserves to feed his ego, can be the big guy that holds the ball and feeds for the finisher Cavani. Zlatan doesn't usually play well with other big name strikers but I think this one may well work out. The question is, can Blanc control him? Perhaps just let him be? I have a strong feeling it will work out.

PAUL:

The more interesting question for me would be to paraphrase this very one and ask whether the prima donna can play with Cavani or any other bull for that matter. It is difficult enough already for any 2 bulls to be in the same kraal. It would take a very carefully crafted system and supreme player management nous to let the two thrive alongside each other. I say, any chance then of Cavani playing with Ibra depends on how Blanc asserts himself on the team. Deep down, I feel Ibra's ego will kill it.

Editor:
The way Blanc has been bending over backwards to accomodate Ibra(I hear he gave himself an extra holiday), this situation looks toxic. Throw Ibra's agent Mino Raiola stirring the hornet's nest and things seem worse. Methinks PSG should sucker someone into buying Zlatan. That way; Raiola gets one more big transfer percentage, Ibra gets one last large payday and PSG continue building in peace. 

As for CL, it can't be won by throwing money at the problem. It takes experience and careful squad crafting. It took Chelsea 10 years and City are on 5 years and waiting so being noveau riche , with money to burn isn't a guarantee.

These were our panelists;

1.Rodney Kayonga is a Liverpool fan who must surely be considering being a cricket fan full time because of how shit his team is and having a cannibalistic best player who wants to leave. Also, a closet Arsenal fan.

2. Bob Muhumuza is a Roman Abramovich fanboy and thriving super YO(great fan of that jungle bunny hip hop culture)

3. Barnabas 'Barns' Kalenzi is a parochial Man United fan and a serial 'sneerer'

4. Paul  Lumala is a long suffering Arsenal fan who is used to the pain.

Editor's note: Some of our panelists are very deep into urban slang. I have tried to explain their terminology to the lay man(explanations bracketed) as best as possible.

Thanks to our panelists and thanks for reading